10 Most Interesting Facts About My Life:
(Not in any order and they may not be the most interesting... I just might not remember the most interesting ones.)1- I broke my leg at age 5 when it got caught in bike spokes. My older brother was giving me a piggy back and threatened to bring me to the bull pen at my grandma's farm.
2-I swallowed a penny when I was young while doing backflips on the couch. Why would I put a penny in my mouth and do backflips? I don't have an inkling. My daycare lady had to save my feces for my mom to dig through with a spoon to make sure the penny passed through. Oh the joys of motherhood.
3-I used to steal nudie mags from under one of my relatives beds (I won't mention who!) and sell them to the freshman in high school for FAR more than they were worth.
4-In my 12th grade Advanced Placement Chemistry class we were all sitting in a circle studying for our upcoming exam... I was really sick and I sneezed.... Ah.... ah .... CHOOO! And out flies this GIANT loogie ball and lands on my knee. This super GOTH chick shouted, "DUDE, that just flew out her mouth!" Everyone laughed and my teacher got me a kleenex. I was embarrassed.
5-I was pretty young when my parents divorced. I didn't really get it. I thought that since my Dad moved out of the family house he wasn't my Dad anymore. So on his birthday card that year I wrote "Happy Birthday, Rich" instead of Dad. Whoops. I hope that didn't hurt his feelings too much. I'm sure I would have been mortified if I had kids and that happened. Kids have funny brains.
6-In 4th grade I had a sleepover for my birthday party. We watched movies and had tons of fun. Close to bed time I drank a TON of blue raspberry lemonade Koolaid. Unaware of my small bladder I just went right to bed with all of my friends in the room, some sleeping in the bed with me. When we woke up I realized that I turned the bed into a Yellow Lake (and slightly blue lemonade Koolaid scent). I was scared. Kids are mean. SO WHAT DID I DO, you ask... I blamed it on my cat KeeKee. Could KeeKee really pee that much? Eh. My friends didn't know how much that cat could pee. They believed me. My Mom, however, did not. But she didn't rat me out. Thank God!
7-When I was a pubescent adolescent (Hmmm rhymes!) I had pinups of TONS of boys all over my room. But I had a few pictures of Winona Ryder posted as well. Everynight before I went to bed I would smooch the Winona Ryder posters. She was cute and mysterious. I've never totally gotten over my stupid, meaningless crush on Winona Ryder. She stole my heart! (Get it??)
8-In my childhood house the basement was the scariest place ever. Not anymore, but when I was a snot-nosed chitlin it was. I used to run down the stairs as fast as I could and run through the basement to get to whatever it was that I needed. There was this one step that had a gap in it. I swear I always saw a glowing green light coming from there and something scary milling about underneath the stairs. I as afraid that a big slimey green hand would reach out of there and grab my legs and pull me down to his lair. So I used to skip that step. To this day, out of habit, I still skip that step. BUT my Mom doesn't own that house anymore. So I won't be skipping it anytime soon, lest I be arrested for breaking and entering.
9-We were really poor when I as a kid, after the divorce and all. So my Mom picked up cleaning jobs on the side and other odd jobs. For a while she picked up this job where you put these parts together at your house, put them back in the box, and bring them back to this house where they ship them to a company. You get paid a certain amount for each box, I believe. I was only 9 or 10 years old. It's a little hazy. My Mom had my brother and I help her. It was fun for a while, but some of the parts were really hard to snap together. I remember getting blisters on my thumbs and having to go to school with big bandaids on them. We stopped doing those weird jobs after that. (Please, do not think badly about my Momma. She didn't force us to do work like that.... it just happened. I couldn't imagine what farm kids grow up having to do! Driving tractors, milking cows...)
10-I'm running low on remembering the BIG stories. So here are a few little tidbits that should say something about me:
-on numerous occasion I accidentally put my undies on inside out... and the tag sticks far out of my pants.
-I also button my shirts uneven, which is why you rarely see me in button-up shirts
-I'm slightly dyslexic and will type things completely backwards or just write things funny, which is why it's really fun to do computer graphics for a local news station. :)
-My thumbs are double jointed and they are the size of big toes. The target of many school yard jokes.
-My brother used to try and charge me a fee for playing his Nintendo. I used to wake up way earlier then him to play it, but then he'd come out and feel if it was warm and catch me. Punk!
Okay, that's enough for now. Go out and do something crazy! And REMEMBER: Don't drink blue raspberry lemonade before bed!!!
posted by traceofblistex @ 6:10 AM
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