Friday, April 22, 2005

Bodily Functions

1. Orgasming--> Duh!

2. Bowel Movements-->and a very very close second! Proud accomplishments.

3. Drinking water--> Indeed this is a bodily function, because our bodies need water and when we shower our innards with agua a heavenly glow comes upon us.

4. Sneezing-->I heard that if you sneeze ten times in a row it's like orgasming. Hmmm... Anyone have a feather so I can tickle my nose?

5. Burping-->Those really resonating, deep bass ones feel so awesome. It's even more satisfactory when you get a whole crowd of people to stare at you.

6. Peeing-->After holding it in for a long time it feels awesome to free yourself of the burden of all that uric acid!

7. Farting-->The release of all that gas feels great unless the fart has some juicy friends! That's trouble.

8. Peristalsis--> Fun to say and cool to feel. This is involuntary muscle movement. Say you drink a glass of water and then flip yourself upside down it still flows into your tummy, because the muscles in your esophogus push it down regardless of what you decide. Feels cool.

9. Twitchs--> Who knows the reason for them? I don't really know why, but sometimes certain parts of my body will just twitch. Parkinsons??? I think not. They can be fun. Like when your eyes won't stop twitching and you look like a crazy person!

10. Drooling--> I always drool when I take a nap. Don't know why. I don't drool when I sleep otherwise. Do, watch out if I'm ever at your house and want to take a nap and your favorite shirt is on the couch!!! Oh dear!

I HATE coughing. It's annoying. Sometimes I feel like I just choke on air. It's the most annoying function. I hate when someone won't stop coughing at movies or in classes. Grrr... I get mad.
I also HATE ear wax. It just gets in the way. I don't know why it occurs? Is it to protect all of the ear membranes and the ear drum?? It's the grossest color and tastes bad, not like boogers, which are deliciously salty!


At April 24, 2005 8:10 AM, Blogger aaron b. said...

How can you hate coughing up a big pile of phlem? It's so liberating!


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